Friends

I was talking to a friend the other day and we were discussing mentoring and other aspects of friendship. Talking to him caused me to revisit some of my thoughts on this subject.

Growing up around church I have noticed great men of God that had "fallen" into sin. Pastors, Evangelists, men that others looked to as spiritually strong, giants in the faith and yet they somehow fell in their walk with God. As a result their lives were damaged, churches were hurt and many of them still live with the stain of their failure. Having seen this happen time and time again I begin to ask, Why?

Why, and how does this happen? I suppose the easy answer is they stopped praying and reading their Bible. They allowed their walk with God to lapse and as a result they fell. I understand that this may apply to some but to say that everyone of them fell this way is disingenuous, in my opinion. I do not claim to have the answer to this problem but I consider the following to be important.

In 1 Kings 19 we find the amazing story of one of my favorite characters in the Bible. Elijah has just come off of Mt. Carmel and has had a great victory in the name of God. He called down fire from heaven and slayed eight hundred and fifty false prophets. This is were chapter 19 starts. It starts with Ahab telling Jezebel that her prophets are dead and she immedieatly puts a bounty on Elijahs head. Elijah hears about it and goes into hiding.

Elijah runs and hids under a bush. While there he is so depressed that he tells God, "I've had enough, Lord , take my life. I am no better than my ancestors."

After staying there awhile and being fed by an angel he takes off again. This time he traveled 40 days to get to Mt. Horeb. While here God asks him a question, "Why are you here, Elijah?"

This question is not about location but a state of mind. "Why are you depressed Elijah? Why are you running?" The thing to remember is when God asks a question of a man it is not because He does not know the answer, it is because He wants us to realize where we are. So God asks Elijah, "Why? Why are you here?"

Elijah responds, "I have been loyal to the Lord. The people have torn down your altars and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left and they want to kill me." God then shows him some mighty acts; a powerful wind storm comes and causes landslides, an earthquake hits the mountain, a fire comes yet, God was not in any of these. After these awesome displays of power we are told that God came to Elijah in a still small voice. Again God asks him, "Why are you here?" and again Elijah tells God, " I have been loyal to you. They have torn down your alters, then killed your prophets. I alone am left and now they want to kill me."

God then gives Elijah the prescription for his problem. What is interesting is that God does not tell him to pray more. God tells him to make contact with three men Hazael, Jehu and Elisha. God tells him that, "Jehu would kill anyone that escaped Hazael's sword and Elisha would kill anyone that escaped Jehu's sword." These men would take care of Elijah's problems. Hazael was instrumental in Ahab's death. Jehu had Jezebel killed. Elisha never left Elijah's side.

God then tells Elijah, "There are 7000 more just like you. You are not alone." It was as if God was saying, "There are more like you. Your problem is you do not know them."

There are many Scriptures that refer to the power of sticking together and the importance of having people around you. In observing ministry, I have found that there is a sever lack in this area. Yes, we have friends but how many can we really be open and honest with?

We fear that if we tell someone about our battles they will look at us as if we are not spiritual or are backsliding. Or we are afaid that our secrets may get out. The truth of that matter is both of these fears are justified because we have all been in situations where this has happened. I fear this has caused a great problem in ministry. It has become a trust issue. I cannot trust you to hear me out and understand that I am a man, a human, that still has faults and struggles. I cannot trust you to keep my confidence. As a result, I hold it all inside and after time the battle begins to wear on me. I can fight for awhile on my own, but at some point I will get tired, worn out and I will lose the battle.

Friends, real friends, are something that we must have. I tell people that there are 3 types of friendship that everyone needs.

1. A Mentor: We all need someone that has been where we are. Someone that can challenge us and hold us accountable.

2. Peer Friends: People that we hang out with. Go out with.

3. A Protoge: Someone that we can speak into their lives and act as a metor to them.

All three are essential to being healthy.

In my opinion, some of the men that fell would have been more sucessful in their fight if they had someone one to turn to. After all, even King David needed help.

King David, the mighty giant slayer found himself in a tough spot. 2 Samuel 21 tells the story of David going to battle. In the battle we are told that he became tired. As he grows tired a giant by the name of Ishbi-Benob goes out to kill David and he would have if Abishai had not stepped in.
We all need an Abishai in our life to help us fight the giants when we grow weary.

Even God said, "It is not good that man be alone."

Being open and honest is not easy and perhaps that is a problem for many. But we all need people in our lives. Friends to challenge us, to be there for us and we all need to be a friend to someone else.